I could watch them sleep all day! It is when they are sleeping that I wish I could press pause and never let them grown up! I wonder why I have only posted one blog on here and it is pertaining to discipline, I hope you all don't think I am a crazy woman ruling with an iron fist. The truth is, when I sit down to share with you a mom moment I don't know where to begin because motherhood is so deep. Being a mom to Cody and Charlie is by far the greatest responsibility and blessing I have been given. There are days when I'm tired, frustrated, lacking energy and I wish I could just pee in private but there are 10 days for every 1 of those kind of days that I remember how fast this all passes by and how I can pee in private sooner that I think and I will wish Charlie and Cody would want to sit and talk to me while I tend to the throne. Our lives are like a vapor, and while it is quick there is a lot to pour into my babies before they spread their little wings. As humans we are so selfish, and we teach our children to be the EXACT same way. Have any of you ever seen the quote "your kids will be like you, so be who you want them to be"? It is so true, If the moms that I have made contact with are any indication of the people my son encounters every day or the woman the little girls will become then I want to make sure Cody is full of substance in order to be able to pour that out on to his peers. I'm sure these woman have just misrepresented themselves during our first 3 encounters and they are really sweet selfless mom's with beautiful hearts who just don't feel as comfortable interacting with outsiders as I tend to feel. Whatever the core of the person is is not my focus in this post. What we display is. You see sometimes our own insecurities paralyze us from being able to open up to the unknown and reach out to one another and experience life together. Fear of rejection or being "different" creeps in and all of a sudden our mind is flooded with every thought about OUR outfit, OUR hair, OUR appearance, OUR status, OUR life. By the time we have time to snap out of it the party is over and you have a child that enters the scene an adolescent who can't seem to see passed the hair, make up, money, cars, houses and material things that will leave them feeling paralyzed in the fear that it isn't enough, because it never will be enough to fill us up. We put them in front of the T.V that tells them to "buy more", we let them watch T.V that teaches them to take whats theirs, take what they deserve, without explaining to them the different roles the characters play and how they can learn from the characters and apply it to their own lives (in other words by exposing their mind with these type of thought so young we fill their precious heart and spirit with things of little to no substance). That space (the one that has been filled with temporary things) over time runs dry, just as it does for us, leaving us insecure and self inverted, it will do the same to our children. It isn't a matter of which religion or belief you stand for, do I want you all to know the love of Jesus... of course, but I know a lot of AMAZING people out there who don't get into theology but would still love to hear this theory. There are parents out there (outside of Jesus) that want to raise babies to be adults that are compassionate and selfless because they understand that our world needs that in order to make it a better place. My entire blog is my own opinion but this is an area I have first hand experience at. Our kids become the people we are, so we need to make a conscience efforts to be the people we want them to be. We need to produce more LOVE and less insecurities, we need to raise more babies to be helpers and doers instead of takers and haters so that when they arrive at their first social event as an adolescent it is as a person who makes others feel welcome and not alone. According to save.org SUICIDE is the 3rd highest cause of death for people 15-24 and in 2010 suicide became the number 1 disability in our county. Loneliness causes these actions. Loneliness kills. In a world where we are taught to climb the ladder for success and discredit higher power for our blessings, and to get 100 things accomplished in a 24 hours time period (with a few of those hours for sleeping and eating) we are running ourselves thin leaving our children lonely and forgetting our biggest mission, raising children who will change the world... for the GOOD! If we can teach our kids to LOVE people, and make time for people even if it means serving themselves second and putting themselves out there for rejection or humiliation they posses the potential to save a life. Once saved, that life will be touched and will touch others and we might not ever live to see the day of "one love" (r.i.p Bob Marley) or world peace but it doesn't mean that we cant bring peace and love to our world.
With all of that in mind I know I have a VERY longgggggg road ahead of me. My children are 2 and 5 and most of the life lessons that I pour out to them are beyond their comprehension but that doesn't mean that I will wait until a better time to begin planting seeds of great character in them. I have had many conversations with my son that I first felt I was wasting my time with and by the end of the conversation he is asking me questions pertaining to the topic that are beyond my ability to answer! This may or may not happen for anyone else but you won't know unless you begin making it your mission to raise a child that will contribute to the good of the world. Children naturally want to help and be good it is us who make them feel inadequate or a nuisance, some of them need to be approached in unique ways but we were given these kids to guide them and to teach them to LOVE. If the desire of our heart is to teach them love, we will be given the wisdom to obtain the tools necessary to succeed at that mission. I want to raise kids that think less about what they don't have or what they didn't get to do or how everyone else's life is so much greater and more about where there is a need and how they can help meet it. Growing up I don't know that my parents ever knew exactly what I am saying or that they ever verbalized it or made it their mission but all four of us learned to love others outside our family just as we loved each other. We were welcomed by believers and non believers alike to pick up the slack my parents couldn't manage because of their jobs and other commitments. They showed us LOVE, we never felt like we weren't good enough or that our parents didn't have time for us because of the LOVE other people showed us without reason or personal gain. I want that to be our family, I want that to be Cody and Charlie's family when they grow up, I want them to open their hearts to love people like we are loved. My love for my children makes my heart beat differently when I see cody begin to act out the character that we hope to build in him I have hope for his future, if he could experience the joy of making one kid's day he would know the importance of the lessons we teach him. Last night as we were falling asleep he had so much love for me, his affection was bursting out of him, I saw him look at me with admiring eyes and I took the opportunity to remind him that though I speak of what is right and love, his mamma wasn't perfect, that sometimes my words are ugly (and I said "I'm sorry"), my thoughts are nasty ("and I am so sorry"), and my attitude is wrong ("I am so so sorry") but that everyday I promise him that I will try harder than the day before to give him the example of the person I dream of him to be. He kissed me and said "I know you aren't perfect but you are a perfect mamma for me". I walked out of the room sat down in the living room of my empty house (besides Cody) and I cried. I have been given such an incredible little boy I don't deserve this honor, that I might have the strength, wisdom, and love to mold these two babies into their greatest potential is what I desire most, that they might use it to pour it out on to a peer that needs it most. How fortunate we are to be given the privilege to bring up the next generation and build the character of the future? My hope is that we all take a deep breath during moments of frustration and being worn thin and that we are able to find one thing in that overwhelming moment that we know we are grateful for in our family or our kids and display our resilience to life and our seriousness about changing our future and the way we interact with out neighbors (not just the ones next door). My hope is that when the dishes are piled up and our little angels (sometimes in disguise) are asking us to play ninja turtles that we will know that right action to take because ninja turtle time will not always be available for us, one day enough "no" will make our children assume that the time they need from us is unavailable and it will be a "no" and they will no longer ask, instead they will play alone and one day lonely wander with no consideration for another but be consumed by their loneliness. I love you all, thank you for walking through life with me I would love to hear the about the moments that you have experienced stepping outside your comfort zone to connect with others or even actions you have taken to build the character of selflessness in your children.
With all of that in mind I know I have a VERY longgggggg road ahead of me. My children are 2 and 5 and most of the life lessons that I pour out to them are beyond their comprehension but that doesn't mean that I will wait until a better time to begin planting seeds of great character in them. I have had many conversations with my son that I first felt I was wasting my time with and by the end of the conversation he is asking me questions pertaining to the topic that are beyond my ability to answer! This may or may not happen for anyone else but you won't know unless you begin making it your mission to raise a child that will contribute to the good of the world. Children naturally want to help and be good it is us who make them feel inadequate or a nuisance, some of them need to be approached in unique ways but we were given these kids to guide them and to teach them to LOVE. If the desire of our heart is to teach them love, we will be given the wisdom to obtain the tools necessary to succeed at that mission. I want to raise kids that think less about what they don't have or what they didn't get to do or how everyone else's life is so much greater and more about where there is a need and how they can help meet it. Growing up I don't know that my parents ever knew exactly what I am saying or that they ever verbalized it or made it their mission but all four of us learned to love others outside our family just as we loved each other. We were welcomed by believers and non believers alike to pick up the slack my parents couldn't manage because of their jobs and other commitments. They showed us LOVE, we never felt like we weren't good enough or that our parents didn't have time for us because of the LOVE other people showed us without reason or personal gain. I want that to be our family, I want that to be Cody and Charlie's family when they grow up, I want them to open their hearts to love people like we are loved. My love for my children makes my heart beat differently when I see cody begin to act out the character that we hope to build in him I have hope for his future, if he could experience the joy of making one kid's day he would know the importance of the lessons we teach him. Last night as we were falling asleep he had so much love for me, his affection was bursting out of him, I saw him look at me with admiring eyes and I took the opportunity to remind him that though I speak of what is right and love, his mamma wasn't perfect, that sometimes my words are ugly (and I said "I'm sorry"), my thoughts are nasty ("and I am so sorry"), and my attitude is wrong ("I am so so sorry") but that everyday I promise him that I will try harder than the day before to give him the example of the person I dream of him to be. He kissed me and said "I know you aren't perfect but you are a perfect mamma for me". I walked out of the room sat down in the living room of my empty house (besides Cody) and I cried. I have been given such an incredible little boy I don't deserve this honor, that I might have the strength, wisdom, and love to mold these two babies into their greatest potential is what I desire most, that they might use it to pour it out on to a peer that needs it most. How fortunate we are to be given the privilege to bring up the next generation and build the character of the future? My hope is that we all take a deep breath during moments of frustration and being worn thin and that we are able to find one thing in that overwhelming moment that we know we are grateful for in our family or our kids and display our resilience to life and our seriousness about changing our future and the way we interact with out neighbors (not just the ones next door). My hope is that when the dishes are piled up and our little angels (sometimes in disguise) are asking us to play ninja turtles that we will know that right action to take because ninja turtle time will not always be available for us, one day enough "no" will make our children assume that the time they need from us is unavailable and it will be a "no" and they will no longer ask, instead they will play alone and one day lonely wander with no consideration for another but be consumed by their loneliness. I love you all, thank you for walking through life with me I would love to hear the about the moments that you have experienced stepping outside your comfort zone to connect with others or even actions you have taken to build the character of selflessness in your children.